Government Toilet PaperPosted: May 26, 2016
Mom got up from her morning nap, made a quick pit stop in her bathroom, then parked outside the office door. She proceeded to stare at my back as I perused my email until I turned around and faced her. “Hi. What’s up?” I exclaimed. “Did you have a nice nap.”
“I woke up so I guess it was pretty good,” she replied with a shrug.
“Well that’s good,” I answered, intending to return to my email.
“I think it’s a shame that they’re making the toilet paper so thin now-a-days,” she said with a sigh. “It’s pretty much useless.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I got it on sale and I didn’t know it was only a half a ply thick. Just double and triple up on it so it’ll get used up faster.”
“Well it’s a crime and stupid. You have to use twice as much as the old kind.”
“I know; it really is pretty crappy. I’ll be sure to get the thick kind when we go to Sam’s.”
“I thought the government made you get this skinny kind now. Do stores still sell the regular stuff?”
“Sure, Mom. I just made a mistake at Walmart and I picked up the wrong brand.”
“Well that’s a relief. I figured Obama did another one of those execution thingies and got rid of the good toilet paper.”
“Do you mean an executive action?” I asked, stifling a grin. “To what, ban two-ply toilet paper?”
“Well he’s done dumber things than that,” she huffed, as she turned the Red Menace and started down the hall. “Look at what a mess he made out of insurance and doctors and stuff. And,” she continued shouting from the foyer, “if it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t be stuck with Hillary running for president.”