Mother’s Day Lunch

“There’s two lizards out back,” Mom yelled as she came down the hall towards her bedroom.  “You should go look.  I’m going to the john,” came her final announcement as she hung a sharp right into the door frame before correcting and continuing into the bedroom.

I looked away from my PC screen and glanced over my shoulder at Bill.  “I guess the resident lizard has a girlfriend.”

“Maybe so,” he replied.  “After all, he’s got a lot to offer a girl since we stuccoed and spiffed up the back porch.”

Several minutes later, Mom reemerged from the – pardon the pun – bowels of her bathroom and stopped by the office doorway.  “Did you go look at the lizards?”

“Nope, but we’ve seen one of them before.  He’s pretty much taken over the porch.”

“Well you should go see the other one.  It’s not moving much, but it’s out there.”

I followed the Red Menace down the hall, through the living room and over to the dining room window where Mom stopped and gazed outside.  “See them?  One of them’s right there at the edge of the stoop.”

I glanced around, taking in the covered porch and the open patio area beyond and noticed our lone lizard as he rested on the edge of the porch, perusing his domain.

“I just see one, Mom.  It’s under one of the chairs.  Where’s the other one?”

“It’s right there by the griddle.  See it?” she asked, pointing towards Bill’s Weber grill.  “It isn’t moving too much, but it’s another lizard.”

I squinted at the area surrounding the grill but all I saw were hundreds of fallen yellow Palo Verde blossoms… and a single dried up and curled citrus tree leaf.

“Are you sure that’s a lizard?” I asked.  “It looks like a leaf to me.”

“Nope, it’s a lizard for sure.”

“Well, since it isn’t moving, how do you know it’s a lizard?”

“Because the bird keeps looking at it.”

“What bird?  The invisible bird?”

“No, the bird in the bird nest hanging there.  He isn’t invisible, I can see him just fine.  You just don’t look out at the right times to see him.  And now he keeps peeking out at the lizard.”

“Like he’s afraid of it?”

“No, like it wants to eat it and that’s why it isn’t moving.  It doesn’t want to turn into a bird lunch.”

“Okey dokey then,” I said, turning away and walking back toward the office.  “If the invisible bird decides to eat the invisible lizard for lunch, give me a holler.  I’d like to see that.”

“Will do,” she responded absently as she continued staring out the window.  “It’s almost lunchtime, so I’m guessing it won’t be too long now.”




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