Floor Show

New Year’s day.  A day to reflect.  A day to relax.  A day to contemplate the coming weeks and months.

“I think someone left a BM in the bathroom!” Mom bellowed out as she wheeled into the living room.

Sitting in the Arizona Room, watching the local morning news, Bill and I paused, looked across the couch at each other and silently mouthed what the…

I got up and walked toward the other room only to be met at the doorway by Mom and the Red Menace.

“Okay, what got left in the bathroom?” I asked, silently hoping I’d misheard her.

“A BM,” she replied.  “Someone left it on the floor.”

“In your bathroom?”

“No, in yours,” she said.  “On the rug.  I think someone forgot it there,” she concluded by executing a sharp 180 and motoring toward her loveseat.

I shook my head and glanced over my shoulder at Bill, who shrugged in resignation as I turned and trudged through the living room and down the hall.  I stopped at the end of the hallway, few feet from the doorway into our little bathroom, and noticed something small laying on the rug, halfway between the vanity and the shower.  It was dark and roundish and… purple.

I knelt down and scooped it up for a closer look.  It was the cap for Bill’s nose drops.  I opened the medicine cabinet, replaced it on the spray bottle and returned to the living room.

“So?” Mom inquired, looking up from her poker game.  “Was I right?”

“I guess Bill had an accident,” I replied.

“Ha!” she exclaimed gleefully.  “At least I’m not the only one.”

“Oh?  Did you lose the cap to your nose spray?”

“No.  What?  No.” she stammered.  “What nose spray.  What about the BM.”

“It wasn’t… that!” I exclaimed.  “Besides, why in the world would your first thought be that someone pooped on the floor?”

“I don’t know,” she grumbled.  “Probably because it was in the bathroom.   But it was kind of dark and I was too far away to see it very well.”

“But on the floor?  What kind of conclusion is that to come to?”

“The wrong one I guess,” she replied with a shrug.  “At least this time.  You just never know.  The older you get the more weird stuff happens to you.  It’s part of the circus of life,” she concluded with a sage nod.

“Circle,” I corrected with a sigh.

“No, she’s right,” Bill yelled from the Arizona Room.  “It’s a circus!”




One Comment on “Floor Show”

  1. Lynn says:

    Nope you just can’t make up stuff like this, Happy New Year!

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