Umbrellas and Bibles

Sitting in the office, working on our latest project, Bill and I noticed a late model red Corolla drive by a couple of times before performing a U-turn at the corner in front of our house and parking across the street, next to the curb in front of Mel and Jeanne’s house, our snowbird neighbors.  We watched as two late-middle aged ladies emerged from the car, dressed in their Sunday best and each carrying a bible in one hand and a somber black umbrella for protection against the summer sun in the other.

“Church ladies!” Bill and I shouted simultaneously.  “I’ll handle the blinds, you go warn your mom,” Bill continued, leaping out of his chair and deftly closing the blinds in the office before dashing into our bedroom to seal off the window in there.

I walked calmly into the living room and got a questioning look from Mom as I stopped in front of the recliner where she was stretched out watching Family Feud.

“There are church people wandering around,” I began.  “So if the doorbell rings we’re not going to answer it,”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Because we saw them across the street,” I replied.  “It’s a couple of ladies with umbrellas and bibles.  I just didn’t want you to yell for me if the bell rings.”

“But what if it’s important?  Like maybe Publisher Clearing House?” she said hopefully.

“Umbrellas and bibles, Mom, not cameras and balloons.” I said over my shoulder as I left the room.  “I’m pretty sure it isn’t Publisher’s Clearing House.”

“But it could be someone else important,” she called after me.

“Like who?  Mary Poppins maybe?” I yelled back.

“Well, maybe,” I heard her mutter.  “You never know.”

mary poppins


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