Coming Through

On Father’s Day, Bill and I met our son and daughter-in-law, Ryan and Jamie, for lunch with the granddaughters. Ryan choose the Rainforest Café at the Arizona Mills Mall because, with its animatronics wild animal displays, periodic thunder and lightning storms and starlit ceiling with random shooting stars, it would hold the girls interest until we’d all eaten.

Morgan, the one-year-old, was at first a little frightened by the big gorillas, large python and trumpeting elephants, but once she got a handful of French fries, she was fine. The first time the gorillas that were displayed next to our table started to move and make ooh-ooh-ooh noise she was a little rattled, but we all cheered and made our own ooh-ooh-noises back and then she was fine.

Olivia, the four-year-old, was much braver than her little sister, because she was pretty sure the apes were not real, but not absolutely positive, so she approached the animated display with a hint of apprehension.

But all-in-all, lunch was a huge hit and we left the restaurant full, happy and ready for a walk down the mall concourse to the carousel. Afterward a couple of rides, we headed back towards the exit, but had to make a detour to the ladies room. This was prompted by Olivia abruptly stopping, crossing her legs and loudly announcing, “Nana, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go NOW!”

I waved the rest of the family on and said we’d meet them back in front of the restaurant, grabbed Olivia’s hand and quickly walked back two store-fronts down to the restrooms.

Fortunately there was one empty stall and Olivia dashed in with firm instructions to “Wait out there, Nana. I can go by myself.” Ten seconds later, the stall next to her was freed up, so I went in and let Olivia know I was next door.

“I know, Nana, I see your feet,” she replied.

“Please wait for me, Olivia,” I instructed.

“Are you afraid to pee alone?” she asked. “I’m not. I can go by myself,” she concluded by flushing the toilet to prove her independence.

“Great,” I said, trying to rush the un-rushable. “Now wait right outside my door for me.”

“Coming through!” she announced, as her head suddenly appeared under the dividing wall between our stalls. “Coming through,” she yelled again, as she wiggled her way into my stall and stood up. “Hi Nana, I’m here now.”

“Well, yes you are,” I replied with a laugh, which was promptly followed by an un-ladylike fart.

“What was that?” Olivia called out, scanning the ceiling for low-flying aircraft. “Did you hear it, Nana? What was it?”

Unfortunately, that got me laughing again, which was answered by another fart. “What is that noise, Nana? I heard it again.”

“I’m sorry honey, but Nana had to fart,” I replied quietly.

“FART!” she hollered. “You didn’t really fart. That didn’t sound like a fart.”

“Shush,” I whispered, trying hard to stop laughing – and farting. “Not so loud. Everyone in here doesn’t have to know Nana farted.”

“Oh, okay, Nana,” she whispered back. “But it’s pretty stinky so I think everyone already knows.”


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