Let Them Eat Cake

One evening last summer, while I was clearing away her dessert bowl and empty iced tea glass, Mom announced that, after five years, she was finally tired of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream every night after dinner. “I think I’d like to try something different for a change,” she said.

“Okay,” I replied. “What flavors would you like me to get?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe strawberry?” she suggested tentatively. “You pick,” she concluded with a smile.

So, for the last several months, I’ve been trying to mix it up. In addition to rotating mint chocolate chip and strawberry, I’ve tried other flavors so she wouldn’t get bored. First was an old stand-by, Rocky Road, but it was too ‘lumpy.’ Then I experimented with candy-flavors: Butterfinger, Heath Bar, and Snickers. Those proved unacceptable because they had “hard thingys” in the ice cream and she didn’t want to spend time or energy chewing. Sherbets were too ‘icey’ and frozen Yogurts were too ‘ookey,’ whatever that means.

Then I moved on to cookie varieties: Fudge Brownie, Cookie Dough, and Girl Scout Thin Mint. These were also rejected because they contained ‘pieces of funny stuff’’ that apparently disguised the tasty blandness of the vanilla ice cream base.

A couple of weeks ago I discovered pastry ice cream – Birthday Cake and Red Velvet Cake, so I made a management decision and grabbed a low-fat, low-sugar, half gallon of Blue Bunny’s Limited Edition Red Velvet Cake.

Last night as I was clearing away her dinner and dessert dishes, she proclaimed, “You know, I don’t think I care much for this cake stuff.”

“Oh? And why is that?” I asked as I gather up the empty ice cream bowl.

“Well it has pieces of cake in it.”

“That’s why it’s called Red Velvet Cake,” I sighed. “What don’t you like about it?”

“The cake’s hard to chew.”

“How can it be any harder to chew than chocolate chips?”

“Because they’re smaller,” she said with a shrug. “So I don’t have to chew them as much.”

“But it’s cake, Mom. It’s not like the pieces are hard.”

“No, but they’re really big. I don’t want ice cream with a whole cake baked inside,” she huffed. “But don’t throw it away. You and Bill can finish it. Besides, I really like Mint Chocolate Chip the best so you can just give me that.”

“What about strawberry?” I asked. “I thought you liked that too.”

Well I do as long as there aren’t a lot of strawberries, just the ice cream. Because you know,” she added with a knowing nod, “frozen strawberries can be really hard to chew.”

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