Topical Storm

When your life revolves around game shows, Judge Judy, and Law and Order reruns, topics of conversation become somewhat limited. This is the case with Mom. If she can’t talk about fat ladies with big boobs or Drew Carey’s weight or Vanna Whites’ latest hairstyle, she falls back on the daily weather report. She loves to keep me posted on upcoming conditions, although she frequently states the obvious. Like the other morning, while it was steadily drizzling on the back patio, she informed us that “It’s supposed to rain sometime today.” When I mentioned that it was already coming down and that’s why Bill and I weren’t walking, she responded with, “Well I guess they were right then, weren’t they.”

If, however, the report branches out to other parts of the country, she tends to muddle up the facts. For example…

When the torrential rains along the coast of California brought flooding to streets and yards, Mom informed us that things were “really bad in San Francisco because of all the mudstorms.”

When Minnesota and the Dakotas were reporting temperatures that were 20 degrees higher than normal, she announced that it was quite the weather phenomenon that Minneapolis, Sioux Falls and Fargo were all reporting the same bone-chilling 20 degrees below zero.

And, when a small tornado touched down in downtown L.A., Mom announced that a hurricane landed in Los Angeles and caused lots of damage to a bunch of car lots.”



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