Table for Two – Part 1

Bill and I have considered doing (but have never done) many things as a couple – a couples cruise, a spa day and couples massage, a couples-only resort vacation, and even a weekend couples’ retreat. But here, in Sun City, we just discovered that we don’t need to plan a lengthy trip or save for an expensive getaway to experience the intimacy and fun of a couple’s escape. Since Bill went on Medicare in August, we now both have the same family practice doctor, so all we have to do is schedule our annual physical appointment times to run consecutively and we get to have a “Couples Physical Exam.”

We checked in at the third floor reception counter about five minutes ahead of my 10:00 appointment, which was to be followed by Bill’s appointment at 10:20. A few minutes later my name was called and I wandered toward Belinda, our doctor’s assistant, who was holding open the door through which lay the exam rooms. “Hi, Patt,” she greeted me as Bill waved good-bye. “Is Bill coming in with you?”

I looked a little surprised and asked, “Why? Is that okay?”

“Sure,” she said, motioning him toward the doorway. He took a few hesitant steps forward while looking at me somewhat skeptically.

“If you want to come too, Belinda said it’s okay,” I called out to him.

“Okey dokey,” he replied with a shrug as he completed the trip across the reception room and into the doctors’ domain.

I approached the dreaded scales, slipped off my shoes and climbed on for the bad news.

“Hmmm, you’ve gained three pounds,” Belinda said as she made a note on my chart. “Okay, Bill, hop on.”

“You have both of our charts?” I asked, somewhat surprised.

“I sure do,” she said, resetting the digital readout to zero as Bill took off his shoes and step onto the scale.

“Oh, oh,” Belinda muttered. “Five pounds. Better look out you two, it isn’t even Thanksgiving yet. Well come on back.”

Thinking we’d be put in separate exam rooms, we dutifully followed Belinda down the hallway. “Here you go,” she exclaimed, holding open the door to Exam Room 4. “Take a seat and I’ll be right back.”

“Both of us,” Bill asked, hesitating outside the open doorway.

“Yup, just sit down and make yourselves comfortable.”

As soon as we cleared the doorway, Belinda shut it soundly behind us. We both listened to the retreat of rubber soles on tile then glanced absently around the tiny examination room.

As we settled into the two empty chairs I turned to him. “You know honey, this is supposed to be a complete physical, if you know what I mean,” I whispered solemnly. “So you may want to leave at some point. And I probably will too.”

“Why?” he asked innocently. “She’s not going to see anything that you or I haven’t seen, right?”

“I know, but if there are stirrups involved, I really don’t think you want to be here. Lord knows, I never want to be.”

He glanced at the examination table. “There aren’t any stirrups attached to that thing so you probably don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Sweetie,” I replied, reaching under the paper covered table top and pulling out the right foot support. “There are always stirrups. Besides, if she wants to do more than make you turn your head and cough, I honestly don’t think I want to be here.”

“Okay, I promise to leave. But, you know, she did that when I was here a couple of months ago, so, unless she’s a sadist or thought my tush was irresistible, I don’t think she’ll want to do it again. At least I hope not,” he said, shifting uncomfortably against the memory.

I patted his arm sympathetically as we sat in silent anticipation, holding hands and waiting for the doctor to appear, ready to begin the adventure with our first ever Couple’s Physical Exam experience.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

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