Two Bikes and a Box of Glue

Bill and I had a garage sale last weekend. We were amazed at how much stuff had accumulated since the last one, which was less than two years ago. We were able to fill a half dozen folding tables with assorted small appliances, electronics, kitchen gadgets and glassware, plus two bikes, Mom’s old walker, a rolling hose cart, and a small step ladder. We also had one whole table devoted to Mom’s ordered-but-never-used Publisher’s Clearinghouse junk. It included:

  • 1 package of toe-spreaders,
  • 8 tubes of glue,
  • 6 wood scratch repair crayons,
  • 2 neon orange plastic bottle openers,
  • 1 neon yellow banana bag,
  • 1 set of neon blue, assorted plastic kitchen utensils
  • 2 plastic cracker storage tubes,
  • 2 Q-tip dispensers,
  • 1 pair of toenail clippers,
  • 1 ear wax sucker,
  • 1 bathmat,
  • 1 oven mitt/pot holder set,
  • 6 yellow plastic corn cob trays and picks, and
  • 1 blue plastic mini-desk set with tiny scissors, a tiny paperclip holder, a 4” ruler, and a tiny stapler.

This is what $195 will get you from PCH, and will net maybe $3.20 in a garage sale. But I digress…

Our neighbor had his golf cart parked in our driveway with a price tag on the windshield, hoping to find a buyer. An older man pulled up in his car, parked and meandered up the drive. He glanced over at the gold cart and shook his head.

“These should come standard with a bumper sticker that says ‘Donor’ on them,” he snorted before moving on to examine the PCH merchandise.

“Donor?” asked a lady who was checking out one of the bikes.

“Yup,” he exclaimed. “You might as well put a ‘Hit Me’ sign on your back. Probably one or two a week get flatted like pancakes around here. You’re safer on one of those bicycles. At least you can get on the sidewalk to escape. Damn Sun City fools all forgot how to drive.”

“So you don’t live in Sun City?” the woman asked.

“Oh I live a couple of blocks from here, but I don’t drive a damn golf cart. Nope, got my ’88 Caddie,” he replied with a backward nod of his head at the pristine white and grey Saville parked at the curb. “I bet she could probably flatten a couple of those pregnant go-carts in one swipe!” he chortled. “By the way, how much do you want for all that glue?”



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