I’ll Call You and See You a Pair of Lizards

As I was coming through the kitchen on my way to the Arizona room, Mom had the Red Menace parked in front of the dining room window and was staring outside. I walked over and joined her, following her gaze into the backyard and across to the house behind us.

“I don’t think anyone’s living there anymore,” I commented. “There haven’t been any lights on at night and no one’s come out during the day.”

She nodded once and continued to stare.

“And just look at all that dead fruit on the ground,” I said, mentally counting the downed grapefruit and oranges laying in various stages of decay under the trees. “I’ll bet there’s two or three dozen, at least. Yup, I’m sure that house is empty.”

“I saw a couple of lizards the other day,” Mom remarked. “Two of them. Over there,” she added, nodding vaguely towards the backyard.

“Do you think they’re living in the house?” I asked jokingly.

“No, in the yard,” she replied without cracking a smile.

“So, maybe that’s some kind of an indicator that there are people living there,” I said with a wink, trying to keep up the witty banter.

“No, just lizards,” she concluded with a straight face as she turned sharply and wheeled away.

So much for my future in stand-up.

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