News Compactor

Mom has a tendency to tune out whatever she happens to have blaring from the TV.  As a result, many of the news flashes we get from her are somewhat skewed.  For example, this morning, as I brought her a cup of coffee, she asked if I’d heard the news about the recent home break-in here in Sun City.

“Yes, Bill told me about it,” I replied, stifling a chuckle because after he mentioned it to me yesterday he wanted to bet on how long it would take Mom to bring it up.  I had just won our little wager.

“Did he tell you about the policeman and his dog that got shot?” she asked.

“No, he didn’t mention that.  Do you mean because of the burglary?”

“Yes.  It’s very sad because the robber killed the police dog.”

“Well, yes, that is sad,” I responded, somewhat confused that Bill hadn’t mentioned this part of the news story to me.

“Was there a shooting at that Sun City house that got robbed?” I asked when I returned to the Arizona Room with fresh cups of coffee for the two of us.

“Yep,” he said.  “The old guy had a gun and shot the burglar.  The police caught him bleeding on a golf course.”

“But what about the cop and the police dog that got shot?”

“That was another story in a totally different part of town,” he said.  “Is your mother mushing news stories together again?”

“It seems so,” I answered, taking a sip of Breakfast Blend.  “It makes me a little crazy sometimes trying to sort out what she’s saying.  There’re always points of accuracy in the pieces, but somehow she manages to completely convolute the whole.”

“Sort of like just about every politician on the planet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.  “Maybe she should run for office.”

“Yeah, right,” I laughed.  “Secretary of Misinformation.

“Too late,” he replied.  ”Jay Carney’s already got that job.”



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