Libyan Body PartsPosted: March 19, 2013
The aroma of baking pork chops and cheddar-bacon potatoes au gratin was causing my stomach to rumble and kept drawing me back into the kitchen. On one of my sniffing trips Mom called out and beckoned me toward her with a wiggle of an index finger.
“Do you know who Gadhafi is?” she asked.
“Yes,” I replied, glancing at the TV just in time to see his bloodied face, surrounded by a hostile crowd, seconds away from being killed during the Libyan rebellion.
“Did you ever hear anything about him having female body parts?” she asked.
That one set me back a bit.
“Nope,” I finally answered. “That’s one thing I never heard about Gadhafi. Murderer, tyrant, genocidal maniac, dictator. Yep, heard all of that, but nothing about him having female body parts. Are you sure that’s what they said?”
“Yes, I’m positive,” she said with an emphatic nod. To prove her point, she turned the volume up so that I, and most of our neighbors, would be sure to hear the gunshot that finished him off.
“I don’t know where MSNBC got their information,” I shouted above the video’s narrator. “But I never heard anything about Gadhafi having anything but normal men’s body parts.”
“That’s what I used to think,” she said. “But I guess we were wrong.”
I wandered back to the office and Googled MSNBC, which was airing the program she was watching. It was called “Caught on Camera,” and was about ordinary people rising up and toppling tyrants. It explained, among other things, that Gadhafi often had female body guards.
I guess the old ear wax vacuum she ordered from Publishers Clearing House isn’t working out too well.