Green Kidney Beans

At dinner last night, Mom had ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ on TV to enhance our dining pleasure.

“This sure is good,” she said, complementing Bill on the Orange Chicken we were having for dinner.

“It came out of a box, Mom,” he replied somewhat drolly.

“Isn’t that amazing,” she said.  “There are so many prepared meals nowadays that young people never have to learn how to cook.  I’ll bet it would be really helpful for boys that live on their own, wouldn’t it?”

“And probably for girls who live alone too,” I added.

“Maybe,” she said.  “But most girls probably know how to cook.”

“And why would that be?” I asked.  “It’s not like girls are born with a cooking gene and boys are born with a car repair gene.”

She shrugged and took another bite as the ‘Millionaire’ contestant answered questions and continued moving towards the big money.  The current question had something to do with the name Spanish explorers gave a stone that the American Indians claimed could heal kidney problems.

“Oh, I’ll bet the answer is Turquoise!” Mom exclaimed.

Bill and I both looked at each other and then back at the TV screen, where the four choices were clearly displayed: Ruby, Topaz, Pearl and Jade.

“That isn’t one of the choices, Mom,” I said.

“It isn’t?” she asked, squinting at the screen as the contestant picked Topaz as his final answer, only to lose because the correct answer was Jade.

“Oh, all right then,” she jumped in.  “I’ll bet its Ruby.”

“Mom, they just said it was Jade.”

“Well I wasn’t really paying attention.  Besides, Ruby makes more sense because it’s red.”

Bill looked at me, shrugged and took his empty plate into the kitchen.

“Red?” I asked, getting up as well.  “Why does that make more sense?”

“Because kidneys are red just like rubies.  Haven’t you ever seen a kidney bean?  So that’s what the answer should have been.  Jade is green.  Whoever heard of a green kidney?”

toon_kidney_ready_to_release_lg_clr



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