Bill’s on a mission.  He wants to build the biggest, badest, fastest, most awesome PC ever.  I’m not sure what spurred this frenzy to create something that could probably run NASA or, at the very least, a small third-world country, but he’s decided that it would be a fun and cool thing to do.  Maybe it’s because we have a freezer full of breakfast sausage and mild Italian sausage and hot Italian sausage and a cut-up 6 pound pork butt waiting to be made into even more sausage.  Oh, did I forget to mention… his dreams of becoming the Sausage King of Sun City are now a reality.

So now he’s moving on to another “hobby.”

We were watching TV the other night – or at least I was trying to – and he was engrossed in something on his Fire.  He kept interrupting with shouts of, “oh man, look at that SSD.” and “Holy crap!  I gotta get me one of those!” and “I can’t believe the size of those things – that’s too good to pass up.”

Now, many women might become suspicious or upset or even angry as their hubby sat beside them on the sofa and became increasingly excited about some unseen temptation on a 7 inch tablet screen.  But, after 25 years with Bill, I knew there were only a couple of things that would stir up that much enthusiasm – gadgets and food.  Plus I knew what SSD stood for because he’d been trolling for one for over a month.  It’s a Solid State Drive and apparently way better than the paltry 3 Gig hard drive he currently has in his PC.  Or the additional 1 Gig drive he installed last summer in his PC.  Or the 1 terabyte external  backup drive he bought last fall and has sitting on top of his PC.

“Found anything interesting?” I asked during a commercial break.

“Oh yeah, this article is talking about all kinds of great stuff and where to buy it and how much it costs.”  So you know what that means?” he exclaimed, pretty much giddy with excitement.  “I could build a computer with a Seagate 3 terabyte SSD, with a couple of Gigs of RAM and a Gig video card and an Intel i7 processor.  It would be AWESOME!”

“Hmmm,” I murmured.  “And how much would this awesome computer cost?”

“Only about $1,200,” he replied with a broad grin.

“Isn’t that about what you paid for the one you got four years ago?”

“Yeah, but this one would be way better.”

“I’ll say.  It sounds like you could construct your own server farm.” I said somewhat drily.

“I could,” he responded a bit dreamily, clearly unaware of the sarcasm creeping into my voice.  “I could probably even have my own cloud.”

“Well who could possibly argue with that logic?  Replace a perfectly good computer with an awesomely awesome one.  Makes sense to me,” I said, returning my attention to the television.

He was silent for a few moments before sneaking a sideways glance at me.  “So, that’s a no, right?”

“Not at all.  If you want to build Frankenputer you should.  Just do whatever you think is right.”

“Bummer,” he said with a pout.  “It would have been the best computer I ever owned.”

“Then build the stupid thing,” I grumbled at him.  “Stop whining and start ordering.”

“So now that’s a yes, right?”

“That’s a do whatever you want, I’m not your mother.”

“Cool!” he exclaimed.

“Kids!” I muttered.



One Comment on “Frankenputer”

  1. […] state drive so he’s now the proud owner of a hard drive as big as a mid-size server farm.  But Frankenputer isn’t the […]

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