Merry Christmas!

The week before Christmas, Billy Crystal, Bette Midler and Marisa Tomei were making the talk show rounds to hype their new movie, Parental Guidance.  As I was settling Mom on the couch with her breakfast, a cup of coffee and an afghan to ward off the morning chill, she pointed at the TV and shouted, “Look, look.  It’s that guy.”

“Do you mean Billy Crystal?” I asked, giving the screen a quick glance.

“Yes.  He’s been on a lot of shows lately,” she replied.

“I know,” I commented, “and Bette Midler too.  They’re promoting their new movie.  I think it comes out this week.”

In response, she grabbed her TV guide and started poring over the listings.  “I think it’s on Saturday or Sunday,” she said, flipping the pages.  “Here it is.  It’s A Wonderful Life?  No, that’s not it.  Wait a minute and I’ll find it.”

“Mom, it’s coming out in the movies, not on television.”

“Oh?  Well then why are they advertising it on TV to watch this Saturday or Sunday?” she asked skeptically.

“It’s opening in theaters this weekend.  It’s called Parental Guidance.”

“Well I guess I won’t be seeing it then,” she called after me as I went into the kitchen to get breakfast for me and Bill.

“It’ll be on the movie channel soon or later,” I shouted.  “You can see it then.”

“That’ll be too late for Christmas so what’s the point?” she shouted back.  “Plus, it doesn’t apply to me.  I’m not a parent anymore.”

“I’ll be sure to let my brothers know that they’re orphans!”

Saddle up at Aunt Dot's farm


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