Tap, Don’t Write

Bill loves techie stuff.  He’s got a regular Kindle from three Christmas’ ago, a Kindle Fire from two Christmas’ ago, and he’s getting a new Notebook this Christmas.  He’s had MP3 players, Nanos and iTouches.  He’s probably sold or given away more PCs, laptops and printers than most people have owned in their lifetime.  Right now, his latest hot button is apps for his new 4G smart phone.

The other day I went looking for my grocery list since we were going to go while Mom napped.  It was gone from its usual place on the microwave cart in the kitchen.  I checked the office, our bedroom and my purse.  Then, I went looking for Bill and found him watching the Steelers game in the Arizona Room.

“Look at those stupid new uniforms,” he said when I sat down next to him on the couch.  “They look like escaped prisoners.”

I glanced at the TV and noted the yellow and black strips that now adorned his beloved Steelers.  “Or maybe bumblebees,” I added.  “By the way, where’s the grocery list?”

“In my phone,” he said rather nonchalantly.  “Why?”

“Because I need to add something to it.  It’s on sale at Safeway and I loaded the coupon on my card.”

“Well then, you should load the app on your phone.  Then you don’t have to write everything down on a piece of paper.  Just add it to the “List” and it’ll add the coupon to your card automatically.”

“Okay, but isn’t it easier to just write it down.  I already went on the website and added the coupons.”

“No, no, this is better because it’s all in one place.”

Being a dutiful wife, I got my phone and found the app and started adding coupons.  It only took me a half an hour to add 8 of them.  Then another 10 minutes trying to figure out how to add non-coupon items to the list.  Then another 5 minutes trying to figure out how to open all the little coupon categories so everything I wanted to buy showed up on the list.

45 minutes later, I went back into the Arizona Room.  It was half time and Bill was playing Angry Birds in Space on his Fire.

“What’s up?  How’d it go at the store?” he asked, never taking his eyes from screen as birds crashed and pigs exploded.

“I haven’t gone to the store yet.  I was making my shopping list,” I said somewhat sardonically.

“Oh.  I thought you’d gone and come back home.  Did you use your phone to make the list?  Wasn’t it better than writing it down?  It’s a pretty cool little app, isn’t it.”

“Bill, it took me 45 minutes to make a list with 14 items.  If I’d written it on a piece of paper it might have taken 45 seconds, tops.  So, explain to me how using this app is better?

“Well, you won’t have to waste paper, you won’t have to clip coupons and, when you’re shopping, you’ll look really cool with your smart phone and electronic list.  Amber and Jack would be impressed with their Nana, I’ll bet.”

“Oh, well, in that case, I’d better continue using this stupid thing,” I replied, shoving my phone into my pants pocket.  “After all, getting back the 45 minutes of my life that I wasted certainly isn’t as important as impressing the grand kids.”

“Exactly!” he agreed, offering me a high-five.

I won’t tell you what I did to his hand.


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