If It’s Tuesday, It Must Be BananasPosted: September 20, 2012 | |
“Is it time to start drinking yet?” Bill asked. We’d been working on a project and it involved “Americanizing” about 400 pages of text written by Greeks whose second language is English – but not quite! I shouldn’t complain because I can’t speak a second language at all – and frequently have trouble with my native tongue.
After 6 hours of poring over ‘Greeklish’ the thought of a rum and Coke or two was mighty appealing. “Sure, hon, let’s do it,” I replied as I saved and closed the file I was working on.
As Bill stood and stretched, he mumbled, “I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday.”
“It’s not,” I said. “It’s Wednesday. Isn’t it?”
“Nope, it’s only Tuesday. Remember, we had that 6 a.m. conference call this morning. The oh-dark-o’clock Tuesday call.”
I sat silently for a moment, then shot straight up out of my chair. “Oh my God. Oh my God,” I shouted. “Bill, you won’t believe what I just did. Oh my God, I can’t believe I just did that!”
“What? What?” he asked, clearly alarmed. “Did you delete something? What?”
“No, worse,” I murmured, as I sat back down and hung my head. “When you said it was Tuesday, I had to think about it for a second and then I realized you were right, it was Tuesday.”
“That’ right,” he replied. “It’s Tuesday. So what?”
“So! So!” I replied through clenched teeth. “I started counting bananas in my head. My brain automatically thought about bananas and if we had enough or if we had to make a banana run. BANANAS! Counting them in my head! To make sure we had enough.” I whispered, trying not to sound hysterical, but pretty much losing that battle. Oh! My!! God!! What have I turned into?”
I left the room, still shaking my head, and headed for the liquor cabinet. As far as I know, Bill’s still in the office, laughing his ass off.