If It’s Tuesday, It Must Be Bananas

“Is it time to start drinking yet?” Bill asked.  We’d been working on a project and it involved “Americanizing” about 400 pages of text written by Greeks whose second language is English – but not quite!  I shouldn’t complain because I can’t speak a second language at all – and frequently have trouble with my native tongue.

After 6 hours of poring over ‘Greeklish’ the thought of a rum and Coke or two was mighty appealing.  “Sure, hon, let’s do it,” I replied as I saved and closed the file I was working on.

As Bill stood and stretched, he mumbled, “I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday.”

“It’s not,” I said.  “It’s Wednesday.  Isn’t it?”

“Nope, it’s only Tuesday.  Remember, we had that 6 a.m. conference call this morning.  The oh-dark-o’clock Tuesday call.”

I sat silently for a moment, then shot straight up out of my chair.  “Oh my God.  Oh my God,” I shouted.  “Bill, you won’t believe what I just did.  Oh my God, I can’t believe I just did that!”

“What?  What?” he asked, clearly alarmed.  “Did you delete something?  What?”

“No, worse,” I murmured, as I sat back down and hung my head.  “When you said it was Tuesday, I had to think about it for a second and then I realized you were right, it was Tuesday.”

“That’ right,” he replied.  “It’s Tuesday.  So what?”

“So!  So!” I replied through clenched teeth.  “I started counting bananas in my head.  My brain automatically thought about bananas and if we had enough or if we had to make a banana run.  BANANAS!  Counting them in my head!  To make sure we had enough.” I whispered, trying not to sound hysterical, but pretty much losing that battle.    Oh!  My!! God!! What have I turned into?”

I left the room, still shaking my head, and headed for the liquor cabinet.  As far as I know, Bill’s still in the office, laughing his ass off.


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