Cuba Libres, Unicorns and Other Scary Stuff

“Nana, Nana!” Jack, our 7-year-old grandson, shouted from the back seat of our car.  We were driving him and his sister, Amber, home after a visit.

“What Jack?” I said rather loudly so I could be heard over the music that Amber had requested we tune to – something about where, where, where have you been, been, been all my, my, my, my life.  The catchy beat made up for the uninspired lyrics.

“Do you want to watch something really, really scary?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” I replied, turning down the radio.  “What is it?”

“It’s called ‘The Lost Tapes’ and it’s on Animal Planet.”

“And what’s on the lost tapes that makes them so scary?”

“It’s factual stuff and it shows all the lost monsters,” he explained.  “You know, like vampires and Big Foot and skin walkers and stuff.”

Trying to sound like a with-it, hip Nana who knows all about monster lore, I interjected a scary “Oooh, you mean like the Cuba Libre?”

“That’s a rum and Coke honey,” Bill whispered.

“Nana, you mean the Chupacabra,” Jack said, unphased by my monster faux pas.  “And zombies.  They’re real you know.”

“And unicorns too?” asked Amber.

“Don’t be dumb, Amber.  There’s nothing scary about a unicorn,” Jack, the monster expert, informed her.  “Have you ever seen a scary looking unicorn?  Or a scary movie with unicorns?  No, I don’t think so.”

“Well,” she tried to rationalize.  “It’s a fictional creature just like a vampire.”

“Except that vampires aren’t fictional and besides, there aren’t any unicorns in the lost tapes unless it’s like a zombie unicorn.  Now maybe that would be a little bit scary.”


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