The Amazing Mr. Bill Fan Club

It was time for a haircut and perm and I was driving Mom to see Sandy, her hairdresser of 18 years.  As we made our way along the scenic two and a half mile drive past car lots and grocery stores, Mom suddenly burst forth with an appreciative litany about Bill .

“You know, I’m so grateful for everything that Bill does around the house,” she exclaimed.

“I know,” I responded.  “He’s pretty handy.  I think I’ll keep him.”

“And it just amazes me, all the stuff he does and he does it at just the right time that it needs to be done.”

This confused me a bit.  I was prepared for her on-going lament about her ex, John the Nazi, and how he never did anything around the house, or even how Bill is such a great cook or a terrific handyman.  But this time she seemed to be implying that Bill had special, psychic powers.

“What do you mean ‘at just the right time’?” I asked.

“You know, he just seems to know when to do something.  Like when your toilet wasn’t flushing.  He knew he had to fix it.”

“Well, Mom, that’s because it wasn’t working anymore.”

“I know.  And like when he washed all the windows on the outside last week.  He did it just when it needed to be done.”

“You mean because they were dirty?”

“Yes.  He’s just amazing.  I never worry about the smoke alarm anymore because Bill knows when to change the batteries.”

“Right.  Like when the low battery warning starts beeping?”

“Exactly!  it’s really just amazing,” she exclaimed, leaning back into her seat with a happy little smile on her face.


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