High Tide

“What kind of laundry soap do you use?” Mom yelled from the living room.

I poked my head out the kitchen door and said “Some HE brand from Sam’s.  Why?”

“Because they’re stealing it.”

“Who’s stealing it?” I asked as I walked into the room.

“I don’t know.  Some laundry soap thieves.  But don’t worry,” she continued.  “They only want Tide.”

“So are they breaking into people’s homes to steal Tide or are they just nabbing it from grocery shelves?”

“I don’t know.  I guess from wherever they can find it.”

“And what are they doing with it?”

“You’ll have to watch Diane Sawyer.  She’s got the story coming up,” Mom said, patting the edge of the cushion next to her.  Even if I had wanted to sit down, I would have had to clear away her TV guide, 3 magazines, the morning newspaper, a page-size magnifying glass, a flashlight, her electronic Poker game and a pile of used tissues, just to make room.

“Mom, we’re in the middle of fixing dinner,” I said, walking back into the kitchen to resume mixing up a batch of Mojitos in a bag.  “You watch Diane and let me know, okay?”

“Sure, but it could be important.  Maybe Tide’s really valuable.  Maybe you should start using it.  Maybe the other stuff is bad for your clothes.  Maybe…”

“Watch the story and let me know,” I interrupted.

“Okay, I’ll write down the important stuff so I don’t forget.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I mumbled, pouring Mojitos into two 16 ounce cups full of ice and handing Bill his.

“Here’s to another newsworthy day, sweetie,” he said, raising his cup and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks honey,” I said, giving him a quick peck.  “Now run out and steal me some Tide so I can do laundry tomorrow.”

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