April Showers

Over the two-plus years we’ve lived here, Mom’s gone from bi-weekly to weekly showers to every ten days.  We were hoping when we did her bathroom remodel before Thanksgiving and replaced her old combination tub/shower with a new walk-in shower she’d go back to at least once a week.  Now it’s the end of February and as of today it’s been a little over two weeks and she’s getting pretty ripe.  I decided I better say something to her before Bill – or Mr. Blunt as I like to call him – does.

I approached her while she was watching Cash Cab and simultaneously playing her electronic Poker game.  I cleared my throat.  “Mom?” I said, as I made myself comfortable on the recliner next to her couch.

“Hi dear,” she mumbled, her thumbs never pausing on the card selection keypad.

“Mom, I need to ask you something,” I said, trying to get her to put down the stupid game.

“Okay.  What is it?” she asked, finally looking at me.

“Do you plan on taking a shower in the near future?”

“I suppose.  Why, are you going to do laundry or something?”

“No, I just thought that after two weeks, it might feel good to get cleaned up.”

“Well, I guess it would, except I just took a shower last Sunday.”

“No, that was two Sundays ago.  I really think it’s time,” I said as gently as I could.

“Oh, did I skip a week?  Well why didn’t you say something?”

“I’m saying something now.”

“Then I’ll be sure to take one tomorrow,” she replied  “That’s Sunday, right?”

“No, yesterday was Sunday.  Tomorrow’s Tuesday and I have to babysit so I won’t be here.”

“That’s okay, Bill will be here.”

“I’ll be here for what?” he asked, wandering into the living room.

“For my shower.” she said, going back to the Poker game.

“About damn time.  Things were getting pretty stinky around here,” he said, leaving the room and heading out to the garage.

“See there.  Now why couldn’t you have just said something.  You shouldn’t leave it up to Bill.  He has enough to do around here.”

I slunk out of the room thinking that I needed a long soak in a hot tub with a glass of wine.  Then I remembered –  both of the tubs have been turned into walk-in showers.  I guess I’ll just have to settle for the wine.

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