Mr. and Mrs. Moose

Bill and I spend our days cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, mucking around in the yard, and making grocery runs three or four times a week to get out of the house for an hour.  We don’t take vacations, unless you count our once-a-week summer reprieve at the pool or going out to dinner every couple of months.

Why, you might ask, don’t we take trips or get out more often?  It’s my own fault; I’m afraid to leave Mom alone for long periods of time because she tends to tip over and fall down.  Fortunately, this doesn’t happen too often and she’s usually only slightly bruised.  Unfortunately, it always comes as a surprise and has no related cause and effect.

So, basically, our lives are pretty unremarkable, verging on pathetically mundane.  Which is why, a couple of weeks ago when our neighbors, Gisella and Wes invited us to a fish fry at the Moose Lodge we leapt at the opportunity.  It would be an adventure!

We had a pleasant evening with lively conversations about how to play Bunco, a motor coach tour she and Wes are taking to Santa Barbara, citrus beetles, and how to make real Schnitzel.  After we had consumed our deep fried dinners and a had a couple of rounds of really strong rum and cokes, Gisella suggested that I join the Moose lodge.  You see, Gisella, who is a hardy, out spoken, opinionated 70-something German lady, is the Lodge member, not Wes.  When I asked her why she recently decided to become a Moosefrau she said “Simple.  The food is good and cheap.  The drinks are strong and cheap.  Besides, you two need to get out more.  This is perfect.  You bring Bill for free, it’s close to home and dues for women are less than for men.  And besides, there’s no bikers here like at the American Legion Hall.”

I closed my eyes to think and, even though I quit smoking more than two years ago, I inhaled deeply to take advantage of the smoky, nicotine filled air.  What can I say… the urge still lingers.  Then I leaned over to Bill and whispered “So big guy, you ever make it with a Moose?” 

He picked up an application on our way out.


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