PCH Distribution Center

Mom makes beautiful afghans.  The other day she asked me to find an old photo album she had of the different afghans she’s made.  In my search for the small, wallet-sized album (which I never found), I came across Sun City’s Northern Distribution Center for Publisher’s Clearinghouse.  It’s cleverly hidden in the drawer of the end table, next to her couch.

The Southern Distribution Center is located in the tomb (Mom’s bedroom closet).  There is also a small satellite center in the middle drawer of her secretary, which is in the corner of the living room.

What I find amazing is that over the course of the last three years – from the time we knew we’d be living here until now – I’ve had four garage sales and was convinced each time that I’d found her PCH stash and gotten rid of all the junk she accumulated.  Wrong!  She just keeps ordering this crap at $17.95 a pop.  And this doesn’t include the magazines she keeps renewing but doesn’t read.  All she does is stuff our little bathroom magazine basket with her discarded Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, The Saturday Evening Post, McCalls, and, Bill’s favorite, National Geographic.

She’s convinced she’s going to win a million bucks from PCH.  I keep telling her that her odds of winning the Powerball jackpot is better.  I guess if the Lottery started giving away Gorilla Glue or glow-in-the-dark fountain pens with the purchase of a ticket she might switch.  But I doubt it.  After all, she’s quite proud that she’s been a loyal PCH customer since 1963.  I just wish PCH would reciprocate and show her some appreciation – and I don’t mean the occasional free ice scraper!


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