Happy New Year – 2012Posted: December 31, 2011
Bill and I are going to have a noshing New Year’s Eve munch-fest this year. We’re renting a couple of movies and chowing down on shrimp cocktail, crackers and a cheese ball, a beef log with honey mustard, and some new fangled sparkling Italian wine our neighbor gave us over Christmas. Yup, we’re just holiday trendsetters.
We told Mom about our menu for the evening and offered to make her a noshing plate of her own. She’s opted out for her favorite Banquet meal – Pork Ribs in BBQ sauce followed by… wait for it… Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.
This particular Banquet dinner is one of the nastiest, stinkiest, most noxious frozen meals ever. The aroma generated by nuking pre-formed porkish mystery meat swimming in a brownish-redish food coloring and corn starch-based liquid is only slightly less pungent then a dead fish.
Left in a car.
For a week.
And, of all Mom’s Banquet meals, this one is Bill’s least favorite to-be-on-the-same-block-with dinner, which means I’ll have to microwave it while he takes a walk or goes across the street to visit Fletch. It’s that or listen to him make gagging sounds during our New Year’s Eve gourmet noshing gala.
Mom is really excited because this year New Year’s Eve is on a Saturday. Bill and I aren’t sure why this should be significant to her. She won’t be driving to Tempe to watch the falling of the tortilla chip into the giant salsa bowl or staying up to watch the ball drop in Times Square. In fact, she’ll be lucky to make it to 9:30. She won’t be standing outside to watch fireworks because that would require getting up from the couch, walking in a direction the complete opposite of the bathroom and actually stepping outside. Plus, It isn’t like she has anything different to do any other day of the week that makes Saturday any more noteworthy than, say, Tuesday. But she’s excited about it nonetheless. And we’re excited just to see Mom excited.
Bill and I would like to thank you for following our “adventures” during 2011 and wish you a happy and healthy New Year. We hope all your hopes and dreams come true and that you’ll continue to stay tuned for more craziness in 2012. Feel free to tell your friends and family if you think bananas and prunes will give them a smile or even a laugh.