The False Toothfairy

“Patty!” came the call from the living room.  I stopped loading breakfast dishes into the dishwasher and wandered in.

“What’s up?” I asked, coming to a stop in front of Mom’s feet, which were in their usual position, propped up on the ottoman in front of her couch.

“That liquid stuff just isn’t cleaning the toilet any more.  The next time you go to the store, I’d like you to pick up some of that false tooth cleaner.”

“You mean like Polident?  For dentures?” I asked, somewhat confused since she still has all her teeth.

“Yes.  I read Hints from Heloise cleaning tips in the paper this morning and she says that’s a good way to clean toilets.  You just plop it in the bowl, let it fizz and then swish it out.”

“Mom, the problem is the hard water here.  It leaves big time mineral deposits.  I need to use a stone and scrub them off.”

“Well, you can at least try the false tooth trick,” she argued.

“Okay,” I replied.  “Give me $5 and I’ll pick some up today when we go to the grocery store.”

“Oh,” she murmured.  “Well, that sounds sort of expensive.”

“Especially when you consider it takes one tab for a cup of water for dentures.  How many would you have to put in a toilet bowl?”

“Maybe you should try it your way first,” she conceded, escaping to the obituary section of the paper.

“You think?” I asked, going back to work in the kitchen.  “Or maybe you should call Heloise and have her come and clean the toilet!”


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