Alert The Media

Like many elderly people, Mom struggles with her balance.  The walker she uses certainly helps, but she still has, what she calls, her ‘tipsy’ days when her balance isn’t as good.  These are the days she careens off walls and doorways as she makes her way through the house.  Because of this, Mom has gotten into the  habit of telling us whenever she’s going get dressed each morning or when she takes a shower.  We figure she does this so that if she doesn’t reappear within an hour or two, we’ll check to see if she’s taken a spill.  What she fails to recognize is that when she does fall, it usually sounds like a sonic boom and rattles the house.  She fell in the tub once and I thought the house had been hit by a small plane.  Thank goodness the only thing she hurt was her pride because she was stuck like a fish in the bottom of a boat; all she could do was flop around until I helped her get up.

This is why, the other day while I was away babysitting, when she came into the kitchen where Bill was taking inventory of ingredients for dinner and announced to him, “I’m dressed now,” he was thoroughly
confused.  He hadn’t gotten the initial “I’m getting dressed now” warning.

“Okay,” he responded, while she stood there, waiting for… well, he wasn’t quite sure what. 

“Congratulations?” he asked.

She continued, unphased.  “Just thought I’d let you know.”

“Okey dokey,” he mumbled.  “I’ll alert the media.”

“That would be nice,” she responded, turning to leave the room.  “And pick up some M&Ms for me when you go.”

“Go? he said, obviously confused.  “Go where?”

“To Albertson’s.  You said you were going to Albertson’s.”

I noticed M&Ms had been added to the grocery list when I got home.

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