Murder’s Afoot

I babysit our granddaughter twice a week so instead of being tuned into a 24-hour news channel, 5-month old Olivia and I are glued to Sesame Street, Peppa Pig and Wow Wow Wubbzy.  And during nap time, I gulp down a sandwich and try not to doze off.  This is why your ovaries dry up and you can’t have children after you reach a certain age.  Watching an infant can wear you out.  And I know that once she starts crawling and then walking, I’ll either have to be in better shape or reconcile myself to spending the other three days a week in a recuperative coma.

My point is, I didn’t know anything about Iranian assassins until I got home shortly before dinner time.   Although watching the report on TV didn’t seem to be necessary since Mom greeted me with the news flash as soon as I walked into the house.

“Did you see the story about how they’re trying to kill Iranians?” she asked as I walked into the living room.

“No, Mom,” I responded, collapsing into the recliner next to her couch.

“It was on the news at lunch time.  They want to kill Iranians and they’re using Mexicans to do it.”  She seemed almost giddy with excitement.

“Who’s they,” I asked.

“I don’t know.  I don’t think they said.  Just that our government found out about it.”

“So I take it, our government stopped it.”

“Maybe.  I guess so.  Although I don’t know why they would.  If Mexicans wanted to kill Iranians, I’d just let them.”

At this point the five-o’clock news resumed from a commercial break on the living room television and they launched into a story about Homeland Security stopping a threat from Iranian assassins who were trying to murder the Saudi ambassador using killers from Mexican cartels.

“Hi hon,” Bill said, suddenly appearing from whatever part of the house he was hiding.  He  paused briefly to give me a peck on the cheek and a wink.  “By the way, did you hear about the Mexicans that are trying to kill off the Iranians?” he called over his shoulder as he continued on his way to the kitchen.

“See,” Mom called after me as I made my way to the liquor cabinet.  “Bill heard it too!”

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