Counting Sheep Instead of CaloriesPosted: September 8, 2011
“Patty!” came the call from the living room as I was trying to get dinner ready before the 6:00 deadline. I walked in and stood in front of Mom, who was playing her little electronic poker game.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“There’s going to be a story on the news but I forget what it’s about.”
“Well, enjoy the news,” I said as I started walking away.
“No, wait,” she called after me. “It was something I wanted you to see.”
“Okay. Then let me know when it comes on,” I answered, making my way back into the kitchen. A few moments later, she called to me again.
“Patty, it’s on.”
I walked back into the living room where the story was about a suspected suicide in California. “Is this the story you wanted me to see?” I asked.
“No. I just wanted you to know the news is back on.”
“Do you remember the story yet?”
“No, but I’ll know it when I see it,” she said. “I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“Okey, dokey,” I replied, returning once again to the kitchen.
A few minutes later, she yelled again. “Patty, it’s coming on.”
Returning to the living room one more time, the TV greeted me with a cell phone commercial. “Mom, this isn’t the news.”
“I know, but it’s coming on right after this.”
We both watched a fast food restaurant commercial.
“Okay, right after this,” she promised.
“What’s this story about?” I asked as an insurance commercial started.
“I can’t remember, but it’ll be coming up next.”
And sure enough, right after we finished watching the Good Hands people, followed by a healthy dental check-up because of Crest, the local news returned.
“Here it is,” she exclaimed, clearly excited about the upcoming report.
The news anchor offered a tease about losing weight in your sleep, followed by a study that showed after vigorous exercise, people – particularly men – continued to lose calories for as long as 14 hours.
“That’s the story?” I asked. “If we exercise really hard, we’ll burn calories in our sleep?”
“Well that’s not right,” Mom grumbled. “I thought they’d tell me how to lose weight in bed by taking a pill or something, not by working out.”
“I’m guessing the last time you got any vigorous exercise I probably hadn’t reached puberty yet,” I muttered over my shoulder as I marched back into the kitchen to finish frying up a non-diet dinner.