Pack Your Bag

I was bringing Mom’s dinner plate to her while we all sat in the living room watching the local evening news.

“Did you hear about that man that tried to break out of jail?” she asked during a commercial break.

“Nope,” I replied.   “Was it here?”

“I don’t think so.  I think it was in Mexico.  Anyway, his girlfriend tried to get him out in a suitcase.”

“She must have been pretty hefty to carry out a full grown man in a suitcase.”

“Maybe it was a roller bag,” Bill commented.

“Maybe so,” I said.

“But they caught him because he was in feces,” Mom added, grinning from ear to ear.

“WHAT,” Bill and I exclaimed together.

“That’s what they said on the story.”

“They said he was in a suitcase full of poop?”

“Yup – he was caught in a feces position.”

“Do you mean fetal position?” I asked, trying hard not to laugh.

“Oh, maybe.  But that’s still how they caught him.  That and the fact that the woman was sweating and dragging the bag and acting nervous.”

“Plus she probably pooped her pants too,” Bill sputtered, trying not to choke on his Subway.


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