Mr. Winkie

My mother thinks two-piece bathing suits are immoral, a movie scene where two adults walk into a bedroom and close the door will cause teens to have unprotected sex, and has to close three doors before using her bathroom.  So, keeping this in mind, I suppose I should feel good about the fact that Mom has become so comfortable with Bill that she thinks of him as a son.  And why should I come to this conclusion?  Because the other morning when the phone rang, Mom decided to answer it.

I was in the garage doing laundry (yes all you Northerner’s, our washer and dryer is in the garage) and Bill was in the shower.  Mom plopped the phone on her walker seat, rolled down the hall and flung open the bathroom door.  This wasn’t bad enough.  She went into the bathroom, slid open the shower door and tried to hand the phone to my soaking wet husband.

“You have a phone call” she stated manner-of-factly.

 “What the h***, can’t you see I’m in the shower…and NAKED!!” Bill shouted.

 “Well, if you don’t want to talk to them, what should I say?” she asked still holding the phone inside the stall so the caller was free to hear the exchange.

 “How about  the truth?   I’m in the shower and I’ll call back?” said hubby, desperately trying to hide Mr. Winkie.

 “OK”, she answered, speaking loudly into the receiver “He’s in the shower and will call you back”. 

“Thanks for passing that along” Bill said sarcastically.  “Who was it?” he asked as she hung up and headed out of the bathroom.

 “I don’t know” Mom replied.


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