Swimming with Sharks

What’s more dangerous than swimming with Great Whites?  Driving around Sun City!  This is on par with maneuvering through an obstacle course peppered with live landmines.  Not only do you have to contend with swarms of road mosquitoes in the form of golf carts, most of the other cars are heavily armored behemoths like Grand Marquis’, Cadillacs and Rivieras whose elderly drivers feel protected behind the wheel of their own personal tank.  Couple this with failing eyesight, poor hearing, and nonexistent reaction time, and you get a picture of the adventure to be had driving the streets of Sun City.

Speed limits are reminders meant to warn the senior drivers that meeting or exceeding the posted limit could result in a run-away car.  Consequently, most drivers plug along at 5 mph below the limit.  This, however, is in direct contrast to busy intersection behavior.  Right Turn Allowed After Stop means just that – stop and then immediately turn right!  This rule also applies to turning onto the road from a parking lot exit.

Left turns are approached differently.  If the left arrow is lit, it indicates that the left turn must be made very slowly.  And getting more than two or three cars through a left turn signal is a rarity.  This is because it’s another unwritten rule that, when you’re cued in the left turn lane, besides proceeding at a snail’s pace, you must keep at least 4 car lengths between you and the car in front of you at all times.  This is a precaution against… oh, I don’t know, maybe the trunk popping open and groceries and walkers spilling out or maybe the car in front spontaneously shifting into reverse before it completes the turn?

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