Breakfast with Drew

Life with Mom involves rituals.  During the week, dinner is eaten in the living room watching the 6:00 news, followed by Wheel of Fortune.  Breakfast happens at the kitchen table doing the Arizona Republic crosswords while consuming 10 ounces of OJ, a banana and a granola breakfast bar.  Sometimes we are able to intersperse the meal routine with a slice of homemade zucchini bread or half a grapefruit.  There’s a small TV in the kitchen so breakfast is always accompanied by Drew Carey and The Price is Right.

Every couple of weeks or so  I’m summoned to the kitchen during The Price Is Right, usually with Mom frantically shouting “Patty, you’ve got to see this!”

As I walk toward the kitchen table, I’m greeted with a variation of the following dialog.

“Just look at this.  This woman has the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen.  Now watch, watch.  She’ll start to jump up and down and I’ll bet she doesn’t even have a bra on.”

“But Mom, I thought jumping up and down was a prerequisite to being on The Price Is Right.”

“Maybe, but it shouldn’t be if your boobs are so big they could knock out the host.”


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